Tag Archives: life

Everything To Feel.

My last reminder was a number
11:22, branch of blood splash
Help, the walls are painted –
In red, coated in red, revelling
In red, red is the colour of my desire.

That explodes outwards, sticky red
Substance, hard to take off, scratch
Wax, set it to flame, a slow burner
Hunch – sometimes, letting go is
Being careless, and yet carefree.

I revel in both, the careless and
The carefree, one makes me nervous
The other, a surge of adrenaline
Joyous excitement – enjoyment
Eyes, wide gleaming almost like
New soul-shattering discovery.

Being careless has often been a
Mistake, wish they didn’t go together
Consequences, be afraid – turn away
Don’t look them in the eye and stare
Before it gets ugly, go. I’ve been told
and yet, I refuse to be afraid of possibility.

We can’t live in fear. We can only live
By exploring our nifty curiosities and
Passions. The fear will always be there
I know, before the unknown leap –
But a life to live, and things to know
All I want, is everything, to feel.

Consummation

I remember,
Wincing when you put
That injection, it
Wasn’t your hand
But you were trying
Not to cry, knowing
That it was you
I looked at you
Through the glass
Unable to speak
Strapped to the bed
I was staring at you
Through the glass,
You looked away
I pretended the pain
Was unreal,
That my arm hadn’t been
Ripped from it’s socket
That you didn’t eat
My fingers crisped
The nails crunching your mouth
Teeth red with the blood
Drying, swiftly wiped on
My shirt, breathing so close
The stench of flesh
My flesh, in you holding
This love between us,
Shove it down my throat
Metallic tongue touch
It’s electric, the steel
Intestine, down my throat
Won’t bite it, I promise
I’ll bring you, my love
I’ll bring you
My head on a platter.

If I Am But The Name You Gave Me

If I am but the name you gave me,

The shroud you covered me in

Mossed etching on a rotten stone

Dusty diary strewn on the floor

Wilted clothes in an aging cupboard,

Frozen and hung on the wall.

Old scar, itching and healing

The warmth of the summer sea sun

A labyrinth of murky stories,

Concealed trapdoors, hurriedly forgotten.

Some remembered on smoky nights

Rest cinders in the rubbish heap

In the brimming silo of time,

Eternal allure of reflections

The trace is eager to find,

Buried bodies, breathing life.

If I am but the name you gave me,

And all that I’ve left behind

I’m gracious for the slumber

In this silent house, benign.

Snuff

Wreaks his dream
Take a walk, child
Nobody’s home
Sings the black-eye
Blues, watching the
Sky eat the sun
Must’ve burnt her throat
Red apple shine
For crying out loud,
But hell
His day’s done
Slipped him stuff
Snuff the candle out
It’s time for smoke again,
Bleak sweat pour out
Of shadow-boxing
The walls leave
Prints of blood
Glass talisman hangs
On the window sill,
The silence kills
Stake-out the moon
Eat the breeze,
Body-bags of it
Wind-tunnel channel
Number five,
Smokescreen plaza
Fading lights
Sleep, to wreck the dream
Again.

Once

My hands are melting,
Dripping, onto black parchment
Each representing an idea
That I should’ve put to paper,
But died, rotting in thought space
Eventually forgotten.

I scratched the wax off
Hoping to recombine it
Into a work of some genius
Only to end up in delirium,
A stammering young fool
Who stutters all the meaning out.

Lub. Dup.

I had my heart
In my mouth
And then
I spat it out,
About the size
Of my fist,
Throbbing
On the carpet.
I poked it with
My favourite twig
It didn’t seem to
Mind, really.
I wonder if
My heart
Can feel.

Still throbbing.
I think
It thinks that
It can live
Without me
Sigh.
Good going mister,
I hole-heartedly
Support your
Independence
But wait,
I don’t quite
Understand.
What are you
Beating for?

See the catch?
There is no
Meaning to you
Without
Yours truly
Whose life
Is your slavery
Languishing in
A heated prison
Restrained
By bloody chains.
I wonder
What you make
Of this life
You’ve granted me.

Some day
We will
Pause
For a moment
To reflect,
And I shall
Collapse.
That day
As you rest,
And I clutch
You tight,
Will you
Tell me
If I have
Made you proud?