Tag Archives: pain

Love Song.

The wail of a love song –
I recognize,
I do not pretend to understand
The shifting verse of fluid feeling
The slender twigs oft broken, the
Always that never was.

Yet, in intuition there is
That deep sense of understanding
A moment that holds, in its bosom
Only to lose it again –
The tight clasp, sand pushing out
Grip trembling, eroding slowly
Through the seams of my skin
I pretend to hold, glistening sand
Losing myself in the love I let go.

Tipping the hourglass, voluntarily
Empty now, my chest
For another hand to softly
Tip the hourglass again.

Honest.

In the moment of truth
The first spike is fear
Naked, pale and hot
Shrieking inside the chest
Your eyes are gleaming…
With conviction.
Soft, the hand that grazed
Across my skin, melts into
A black song-bird flying
Through the air –
Stop.
Please, I can explain.
Your eyes are vehement now
Brown globules of shining
Simmering heat.
Song-bird returns to
It’s nest. The next spike
Is red confusion –
A hasty prediction of
Consequences
The pain I will cause you
In the telling and the denial.
A shard through the mind,
A shard through my chest
I wonder, which, but
I stare at you, hold my head
In my hands –
A tear drop, then another,
Then another, you think
You’ve hurt me –
Rush to my side with arms wide open
Whispering apologies, holding me.

I wish you had,
Hurt me.

September

Flakes of gold

Wither and fall from gnarled trees,

The autumn is catching

The summer recedes

Quietly,

To hibernate

To collapse into lush silence,

Cloud lines floating

Silver sun hiding

Shadows

Longing to touch the earth

Cold quilt,

To keep you awake at night.

I keep a leaf

In my book

For you,

I hold it close to me

Its scent tingling

Expanding inside me,

Dry leaves

Crumbling in my fist

So many

Blown away by the wind

So many

But you I keep

I hold you close to me.

Tell Me

Tell me.
Tell me what you feel.

It never is, nothing,
I sense your restlessness
When our eyes become strangers
A hesitation in the taking of hands
Your fingers, coiling around the cold
Door handle, pale in the tightness of your grip.

I feel your disturbed soul
The vague blankness on your brow
That hides the wounds,
The clawing that tears you
The painful twists of your heart
I see you hurting,
And it hurts me so much.

The silence talks to me at night
An uncomfortable quietness
A desperation, indecipherable
The window seems to provide you with
Some solace, the darkness
Seeps into you.

So tell me, then
Let me go through
To your heart and gently coax
The fear and the anxiety
Your feelings, I cradle them
They are precious to me.

So be honest,
Even it shatters me,
For you resonate as I do,
And I resonate as you
Our bond, stronger,
Than separation.

Consummation

I remember,
Wincing when you put
That injection, it
Wasn’t your hand
But you were trying
Not to cry, knowing
That it was you
I looked at you
Through the glass
Unable to speak
Strapped to the bed
I was staring at you
Through the glass,
You looked away
I pretended the pain
Was unreal,
That my arm hadn’t been
Ripped from it’s socket
That you didn’t eat
My fingers crisped
The nails crunching your mouth
Teeth red with the blood
Drying, swiftly wiped on
My shirt, breathing so close
The stench of flesh
My flesh, in you holding
This love between us,
Shove it down my throat
Metallic tongue touch
It’s electric, the steel
Intestine, down my throat
Won’t bite it, I promise
I’ll bring you, my love
I’ll bring you
My head on a platter.